eu nao entendo portugues,

mas eu vou a brasil em fevereiro. and it's all i think about; my head swims.

it took hours to click purchase on the airline's web site. hours. buyer's guilt. a tinge of buyer's remorse now. but no looking back. it's on. andd i'm keyed up. and i just want to keep rolling around, bouncing from here to there.

panique, panique, when i couldn't immediately locate my passport. relief upon sending it for renewal. another decade of possibility created.

fun fun fun fest

marked bien sur by loads of fun, fun, fun:

1. several of my hardcore punk dreams coming true! from vinyl to live - in person..it may have taken decades, dammit, but there i was, and there they were -- d.o.a., cro-mags and bad brains!

2. bandanas! ok, people, admittedly a tad dusty, but honestly, let's not exaggerrate! i saw y'all smoking your ciggies and porros, but then covering your faces so as not to inhale any dust particles whatsoever!

3. the utter bizarreness of moving from d.o.a.'s hardcore intensity, bodies flying through the air, to les rave-party mixes of franki chan on a neighboring stage...i found myself zoned out, in a quasi-stupor-trance within minutes...but snapped back for cro-mags!

4. cazadores and fresca! so light and refreshing

5. spinach and garlic slices from the parlor

6. d.o.a.!

more fun fun fun, please!

soulagement

felt 'round the world. still sense it today, two days post.

ventured out to view the results stream in on a big-screen on the covered terrace of a local pub. cheers erupting as states were called. boos for states lost, including texas. later, honking horns of cars passing by. we honked our horn as well, driving home, windows down, manu's "politik kills" blaring, taos co-op kids on the roof, chanting "obama," passers-by (pedestrian, motorists, cyclsits, etc.) flashing the peace signpeace sign, more horns honking.

yes, tuesday nite felt good.

ce que j'aime...

a propos des massages:

letting go. evacuating toxins from my tissues. succumbing to the work, melting into it. the sensation of being transported to a quasi-euphoric altered state. barely capable of flexing my arms, just enough to reach the steering wheel for the drive home. entranced by denia, lost in its rhythms.

ce que j'aimerais...
to live like that, to feel that sensation daily.

time's ticking

this, according to the national repulican trust. after all, there remains just days to avert a major national disaster -- aw, y'know, that one, that radical muslim, socialist, communist, terrorist leftist with the 100% liberal rating in congress. he's not just a risky choice, but a dangerous one! but, that's ok, because with your donation to the national republican trust, they will be able to air their ad exposing the real obama, stating the truth, doing the job that mcpain-f(l)ailin can't. this brought to my attention courtesy of that old friend i mentioned last week, the one who has been fairly quiet this year:

Dear Newsmax Reader:
We at the National Republican Trust are launching our first 30-second ad attacking Barack Obama and his plan to give illegal aliens driver's licenses.
We are already being attacked by liberal, pro-Obama blogs and we have just released our first ad! They are worried about us — and they should be!
Dick Morris says "The National Republican Trust is a very effective organization that can make a huge difference on election day."
Already our ads have been blanketing Ohio and Florida. They have hit these states like a neutron bomb — they don't kill people just Obama's lies!
Already, polls in both states show McCain is moving up. We believe these ads are working.
We are now firming up ad buys in other major swing states. You can make a big difference by donation to us because we only have days to roll out our campaign.
If you have donated before, donate again!
Please read Scott Wheeler's urgent letter below!
---
Dear Fellow American:
We have just days to go before Election Day . . . time is running short for us to avert a major disaster for our country. That disaster's name is President Barack Obama
But this disaster can be averted. I’m confident about this — even though the slanted media are overstating Obama’s inevitability.
But the numbers don’t lie.
The latest AP and IBD polls have John McCain basically tied with Obama!
Despite the full-court press to destroy McCain and Sarah Palin, Katie Couric’s antics against her, and a daily onslaught of media spin . . . McCain is still within striking distance.
The stakes have never been higher for the future of the country.
We either patriotically turn the country over to a man who has proudly served his nation in war time and peace — or we face electing a man who has a checkered past, a man who has counted domestic terrorists among his friends, and a man who spent 15 years in a church where his pastor regularly damned and condemned the United States.
Barack Obama is not simply a risky choice as our next president — He is a dangerous one.
This is why I have taken the helm here at the National Republican Trust Political Action Committee.
Here at the National Republican Trust, we understand our mission. It’s simple. It will also drive the left-wing media nuts.
Here’s the plan: We will tell the American people the truth about Barack Obama!
Every time John McCain or Sarah Palin tries to tell the truth about Obama, they are painted as mean-spirited and negative.
We here at the National Republican Trust can do the job McCain and Palin can’t.
But we need your help. Time is urgent — it’s crunch time.
See Our New TV Ad Exposing Obama — Go Here Now
You Can Help Us — Donate Today by Going Here Now
The latest reports show Obama outspending McCain by 3-to-1 in key states.
Millions of dubious new voters with the help of groups like ACORN are being registered to put the most extreme liberal in the history of the presidency in the White House.
But I’ll shock you: that’s OK!
Let them spend millions in getting new “voters” and millions more in TV ads.
I believe truth is more powerful than lies. How powerful?
Well, so powerful, in fact, that I believe one airing of our TV ads will equal at least 10 airings of theirs.
This issue will nail him.
Obama has been trying to fool people and remake himself as a moderate to win over lower-income, white, Democratic and independent voters.
He wants to hide the facts about his record. He is the most extreme liberal ever to be nominated by a major party.
We all know his 100 percent liberal rating in Congress, his support for the TOTAL gun ban in Washington, D.C., his opposition to protecting babies born alive, and his support for tax increases.
But there is one issue almost all Americans agree on: Illegal aliens should not be given driver’s licenses.

un autre monde est possible

this just in...

from an old friend, with whom i've never discussed anything remotely political, and who, four years ago, forwarded me some pro-bush propaganda...she's been surprisingly quiet this year, save for a primary-season obama-the-muslim-themed message...an excerpt, for your friday reading pleasure:

...It's just that the past few months I've listened to the rantings and railings of the left in America calling for more giveaways and better ways to obtain the proverbial 'free lunch'...

...And now with the election results comes the promises of 'change'. 'Change we can believe in.' 'Change for the future.' When in fact if you really, I mean REALLY listen to what the new messiah is asking for, is not 'change of policy' or 'change for the better'. He is warning all of us that he wants our change all right, 'loose change', pocket change', social change, and political change. So people, wake up. For if you don't, the change you get may not be the change you were expecting or the change you wanted.

To close my screed, I want to leave you with some JM predictions in the event the junior Senator from Illinois becomes President and especially if the House and Senate are veto proof.

1). Strict new gun laws will be enacted even though he promised he would not.
2). The phrase 'In God We Trust' will be removed from all currency.
3). He will back away from his pledge to Israel and leave them to the wolves of Islam.
4). Hillary Clinton will be named to the Supreme Court.
5). Tax rates will return to their highest levels in 30 years.
6). The capital gains tax will be at least double current levels.
7). Retired Army General Wesley Clark will be named Secretary of Defense.
This is the General who was fired for 'integrity' issues.
8). The borders will be 'basically open' to all comers ... especially those from the Middle East and South America.
9). Amnesty will be granted to all illegals now in the U.S. regardless of status or even gang members (MS-13).
10). The war in Iraq will be brought to an abrupt end and the results will be tragic and the consequences to our military will be devastating.

I realize that my predictions may not sit too well with some people and the best we could all hope for is that I am totally wrong. Any bets?

If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone, YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

It is Time for Americans to Speak up.

politik kills

la rage

ce qui m'agace...

1. forced socialization...y'know, being oblige to participate in social activities due to work relations/duties.
2. false accusations...fairly self-explanatory...y'know, how obama, for example, is a socialist or a muslim or a terrorist or not a real-one-of-us.
3. windowless environments
4. staff-office job ads that describe the work environment as such: may work around standard office environments. how cruel to suggest the possibility that somehow the standard staff-office job may not perhaps involve working around the environment in which it was created to exist, which is its environment, the only environment in which it exists.
5. my lazy palate
6. today's dragging minutes...how is it only 2.10pm?


hope to make this a regular feature; i certainly have sufficient material

ecology

of course, i shouldn't neglect gregory bateson, whom guattari cites:

"there is an ecology of bad ideas, just as there is an ecology of weeds."

guattari describes donald trump as an example of an algae-weed that has flourished under, through, and because of iwc.

re-singularisation

comment l'expliquer?

to be re-singularized, to re-configure subjectivity...to de-territorialize and re-territorialize the self as subject; a processual coming-into-being; the creation of existential territories that defy constraint and anchoring...

Guattari, en anglais:

Like artists and writers, the cartographers of subjectivity should seek, then, with each concrete performance, to develop and innovate, to create new perspectives, without prior recourse to assured theoretical foundations or the authority of a group, school, conservatory, or academy...Work in progress! (p. 30)

A work that is both futuristic and constructivist, that rejects the pseudo-techno-scientific paradigm, that doesn't fold back on nostalgia, that integrates the environmental, the social and mental ecologies, as they inform one another:

It is quite simply wrong to regard action on the psyche, the socius, and the environment as separate. Indeed, if we continue - as the media would have us do - to refuse squarely to confront the simultaneous degradation of these three areas, we will in effect be acquiescing in a general infantilization of opinion, a destruction and neutralization of democracy. We need to "kick" the habit of sedatvie consumption, of television discourse in particular; we need to apprehend the world through the interchangeable lenses of the ecosophy. (p. 32)

oh no! not the "s-word"!

well, they've done it...very quickly the description of obama's tax plan evolving from "sharing the wealth" to "spreading the wealth" to "re-distributing wealth" to mccain's ultimate enunciation: that this proposed tax plan is congruent with one of the basic tenets of socialism.

ah, the s-word. suddenly all the rage, all over again. the anxiety-inducing, fear-provoking, pinkie-tinged s-word.

...pretty catchy, because now mcpalin supporters are expressing anxiety over the inevitable freefall down the slippery slope to socialism that an obama win would launch. from a north carolina diner stop where a woman yelled "Socialist, socialist, socialist -– get out of here!" to a congressional representative from minnesota suggesting that obama holds "anti-american views" and that members of congress should be investigated to ascertain their level of patriotism to mcpalin rally attendees saying they don't "want to go socialist" and that "that one" is "steering us toward socialism"!

never mind the fact that for all the mcpalin fear-mongering, obama is really more of a centrist politically than a radical leftist. below, chomsky explains well the narrow band within which u.s. politics operates -- not exactly earth-shattering revelations here, because we know/have known, after all, that the u.s. spells big business. i guess this serves to underscore further my general belief that, in some/multiple ways, there is no difference, but, that the differences that are do hold potentially fairly significant implications (supreme court justice nomination(s) in the next four years, continuation of the war in iraq, etc.):

Sometimes I have the feeling that the two terms of Bush were in a context of the changing of the global order, trying to maintain power using force and in contrast Obama could be a way to have a kind and polite face to renegotiate the world order. Do you think this could be true?....

Remember that the political spectrum in the United States is quite narrow. The U.S. is a business-run society, somewhat more than Europe. Basically, it is a one-party state, with a business party that has two factions, Democrats and Republicans. The factions are somewhat different, and sometimes the differences are significant. But the spectrum is quite narrow. The Bush administration, however, was way off the end of the spectrum, extreme radical nationalists, extreme believers in state power, in violence overseas, in big government spending, so far off the spectrum that they were harshly criticized right within the mainstream from early on. ....
Whoever comes into office is likely to move things back more towards the center of the spectrum, Obama probably more so. (Interview by Simone Bruno, 13 October 2008)

l'écosophie

it didn't take many lines of les trois écologies for it to resonate profoundly and somewhat disturbingly within (disturbing in the sense of positive agitation or movement contre the grinding dullness and passivity). devouring sentences, i welled up with the nécessité d'en parler...

for it seems so clear. and, not to mention that, at this point, at this late hour, utterly critical to re-frame or re-configure the paradigm to move beyond the limits of binary oppositions and the pseudo-techno-scientific and to heed the call to action against the virus that is Capitalisme Mondial Intégré through an ethico-aesthetic framework of multiple integrated ecologies : the environmental, the social and the mental. most striking and close to me is the need for re-singularisation:

S’il n’est plus question, comme aux périodes antérieures de lutte de classe ou de défense de la « patrie du socialisme », de faire fonctionner une idéologie de façon univoque, il est concevable, par contre, que la nouvelle référence écosophique indique des lignes de recomposition des praxis humaines dans les domaines les plus variés. A toutes les échelles individuelles et collectives, pour ce qui concerne la vie quotidienne aussi bien que la réinvention de la démocratie, dans le registre de l’urbanisme, de la création artistique, du sport, etc. il s’agit, à chaque fois, de se pencher sur ce que pourraient être des dispositifs de production de subjectivité allant dans le sens d’une re-singularisation individuelle et/ou collective, plutôt que dans celui d’un usinage mass-médiatique synonyme de détresse et de désespoir. Perspective qui n’exclut pas totalement la définition d’objectifs unificateurs, tels que la lutte contre la faim dans le monde, l’arrêt de la déforestation ou la prolifération aveugle des industries nucléaires. Seulement, il ne saurait plus s’agir là de mots d’ordre stéréotypés, réductionnistes, expropriant d’autres problématiques plus singulières et impliquant la promotion de leaders charismatiques.

Graeme Kilkpatrick writes:

Guattari's alternative to continuing on this course is not defined in terms of a single political project. Rather, it is signalled by a refusal of subjectifications in multiple strategies of personal creativity which, in the course of forcing themselves into being, can open out onto new configurations of desire, social reality and nature that exceed current limitations.

my lazy palate

the purity of manu chao's vowels...une purete...transcending languages, from francais to espagnol to english...

the consonnes, too: the non-aspirated "p" in "politik kills", for example.

huh?

“I’m mad, I’m really mad!” the voter bellowed. “And what’s going to surprise ya, is it’s not the economy – it’s the socialists taking over our country.”

h is for...

sunday night with henry rollins...he launched his show by apologizing for it being 9pm sunday night, recognizant of what early monday morning brings for too many: return to work for another week. he spoke for two and a half hours: intelligent, silly, thought-provoking, hilarious, engaging.

the aftermath of this particular evening with henry found me waddling in the sunday night blues, predictably bleeding over to monday morning. in my semi-conscious saunter from the car to the office, toting my purse and my lunch bag, like a good office employee, i admitted to myself this morning that many days i don't dread it, but that i never anticipate it joyfully. no, there's no joy to it. many mornings, i go through the motions, as if i have simply resigned myself to this sort of work-life. but then there are the days where i'd rather not bother or be bothered. today qualifies.

or did. until i received e-mail notification that i have now become myspace friends with hugh laurie. my request had been pending for weeks as he had not logged in since july. how my monday brightened! this could very well carry me through the entire day, which, while an exciting development, is simultaneously a pathetic statement of my current work-state.

bright lights, gc's & desk chairs

it must be friday?!

in an effort to reduce its carbon footprint, my employer has launched a campaign to retrofit all lighting fixtures with more energy efficient bulbs. a facilities services crew passed through here late yesterday afternoon, standing on chairs in my office, moving a box of pr materials off the floor, lowering my keyboard tray nearly to the floor, and installing fresh bulbs in all six of the double light panels in the ceiling. entering my space at 7.25am this morning, i was greeted by the most brutal indoor lighting imaginable. aggressively bright, it is, and i bear the brunt of its directed hostility.

as if the brutality of my office lighting were insufficient, i was greeted by a list serve announcement of the newly launched blog created by a staff member whose job title i used to share and who, like so many of her colleagues, feels the "need" to hyper-professionalize and is now compelled to transcend the boundaries of her title's cross-campus organization and take it global, online.

finally, back in my corner of the building, they're all abuzz with the arrival of five different sample desk chairs, each available for a three-to-four-hour check-out (sign-out sheet and all). some immediately conduct brief test-sits, while others grumble about the lack of information on each model's specifications. i note, yet again, as i have at each stage of the "new space design process", that this is all concocted to provide us the illusion that our input matters, that we have a voice, that my vote for chair #3 is meaningless. we will all receive the chair they decide we should have, and they will all be the same.

on inertia and the hunger it induces

no wonder that, according to my co-worker r, an administrative assistant down the hall has become rather heavy over the last few years. when you're paid to sit, as all of us in this building are, regardless of whatever fancy title we may possess, packing on the pounds, ounce-by-ounce, hour-by-hour is nearly effortless, as effortless as sitting motionless for hours on end, day-after-day, right here in front of this very computer screen.

one would think perhaps that this lack of motion would suppress one's appetite. such little energy being expended, after all. quite the contrary seems to be the case. perhaps it's the lack of mental and physical stimulation, the boredom, that not only makes me more lethargic than my natural tendency, but also dulls me to the point of wanting to eat for wont of any activity in which to engage.

lulled and dulled into a mind-numbing inert state, i find myself hungrier than normal. does this even make sense? it seems illogical in a way to think that i could be understimulated into snack attacks. yet, this occurs with frightening regularity. i have also observed that this is not an issue when i am at home, free to move around, in and out, from couch to kitchen to office to yard to bedroom.

bail me out, please

as we all know by now, there is a proposed 700 billion dollar bailout plan for wall st., which is now framed by bush as a rescue plan, not a bailout.

so, while these good, honest, hardworking people have been raking in millions of dollars for themselves annually, and doing everything they can to maximize their (private) profits by slashing retirement funds and health insurance and pay increases for their employees and by laying them off, sometimes thousands per instance, they are now desparate for all of us to cover their losses. "socialized" isn't such a dirty word for them at the moment. can't talk about universal healthcare ever without being called a socialist or commie, but now we can talk openly and freely about socializing the losses of those corporations.

gotta love this country.

bush's argument last night is that many average americans pay their mortgages and car notes and might be apt to think it unfair, but without this rescue effort, average americans will be hurt because they won't be able to get a car loan or house financing or pay for college tuition.

how about bailing me out of my student loan debt? or our mortgage?

why

does this appeal to me infinitely more

Exposure to environmental and weather conditions (to include extreme temperatures, dirt, dust, fumes, smoke, and loud noises).

than this?

May work around standard office conditions. Repetitive use of a keyboard at a workstation.

bikes, boys, and videos about them

in just the nick of time, learned of a bicycle film festival in town for the weekend. attended a screening of shorts; some were actually quite good. in attendance were those hipsters - you know the ones, the lean, lanky boys who cruise around town on their customized, fixed-gear bikes.

la chose proustienne?

first thing this morning, in the kitchen at work, i decided to scrub out my coffee mug while brewing a fresh pot...the scent of the dish soap wafted up out of my mug, and within moments, i had the sensation that i was in france again, standing in evelyne's kitchen doing dishes. it smelled just the same: a fresh, citrus-y aroma that i can only associate with france and french dish soaps. how bizarre to be standing in this office's kitchen, in this all-too-american, 1970's educational institution building, and to have these random snippets of my five months in psycho evelyne's t-1, a flat with a small balcony on the southern edge of angers, an area populated by towers of flats, sort of a weird no-man's land purportedly inhabited by thousands of people, although there was never really any trace of them.

mcfailin'

well, it did have me quite concerned for a few days, and admittedly, i persist in angsting somewhat over these polls, even though there's the faintest indication that mcsame's %'s have dropped slightly.

the brighter news is that, despite there being a two month-long wait for palin's frames and despite reports that scores (hundreds, thousands?) of women are striving to achieve le look palin as i type, her favorable rating has sunk slightly this week.

please let the novelty continue to wear off. time's ticking, you know!

please prove me wrong, amerika, about how dumb and blinded i believe too many are!

still the same

after all this time with phd in hand, living on the so-called administrative track, i still find myself compelled to browse daily all faculty job postings in my field, and any other field remotely related.

so, another year, another tenure-track job cycle has been launched, and already, i have noted that not so much has changed. take this extrait of a recent ad, par exemple, which reads like numerous others have in years past, seeking some candidate with a specialization in nearly anything other than mine:

The successful candidate is expected to hold the Ph. D. in French by August 1, 2009. Native or near-native fluency in French is required. The primary field of specialization is open, excluding twentieth century and film studies and the medieval period. In addition, the ability to teach some aspect of francophone literature and culture is highly desirable.

other ads posted so far this season are targeted to 19th century specialists as well as french linguists. what's a 20th century lit crit gal to do?

ok, so it's been months

we'll just ignore that for now, because here i am again.

last week, as ike was plodding its way toward the texas coast and as work was settling down into the new semester, i had space in my head for just a few thoughts:

1.) stocking up on wine and clif bars for ike's inland march
2.) the season premiere of house (which, by way, finally occurs this evening)
3.) desire for more tennis featuring roger federer (because the us open finals was insuffiicient)

well...

all set to write, but i'm trop fatiguee.

here i ramble

so it goes, and i launch myself. suddenly struck by a lack of words suitable for such a foray, i find myself perched here in my chair, gazing nearly pensively at the blank blog-posting box filling my screen.

perhaps it's too early. perhaps it's my head. perhaps it's the weather. perhaps it's the hypo-blood-caffeine levels. then again, perhaps it's just me.

and anyway, who cares?

ca ne fait rien.